Love Is Not Jealous or Boastful

One of the wonderful things about having kids is that they provide amazing insight into God's word. They possess all of the sinful nature and none of the self control to keep other people from seeing this nature at work. Here's an example. I have three sons, Harrison is six, Warren is three, and Aaron is one (he'll turn two in July). Well, Aaron gets in moods, very frequently, when he wants ANYTHING that Warren and Harrison put their hands on. He doesn't just stop at wanting it; he will charge them and try to take it by force. Most of the time he can't wrestle it from them because they are bigger. However, there have been times when he gets it from them. Of course, being parents who are teaching our children about fair play, we take it back from Aaron and give it to the child who he took it from. Well, in either instance, Aaron doesn't like this at all. Often, he sits down and wails...And I mean WAILS. There is nothing soft or quiet about his fits. He is totally and completely jealous that his brother has a toy that he wants but can't have.

On the flip side, I have seen Harrison cause great strife by telling his little brothers about something he gets to do because he is older. Harrison doesn't usually take naps any longer, however, when he points this out to his little brothers, they don't really like hearing that very much. They become upset with him, and with us, because they think they are being treated unfairly. Shockingly, they never thank Harrison for letting them know that he is able to do something they can't or that he is being treated differently. This is especially the case when we have told Harrison that he can watch a movie, or something else fun, while they are napping.

Being jealous and boasting don't lead to loving feelings. This is why God warns against both of these actions in the love chapter. 1 Corinthians 13:4 says "...Love is not jealous or boastful..." It is very hard to be loving towards someone when we are jealous. What are you thinking when you are jealous? What is your general attitude? For me, I'm thinking about how this person has something that I don't have. It's not fair. Why should they have it and not me? What makes them so much better than me? The snowball effect goes on from there. In these instances, we don't end up thinking about how they are a wonderful person made in God's image. Instead, we end up resentful, frustrated, hurt, feeling neglected. Many times, we start to blame the other person for our feelings of inadequecy or insecurity.

When we are boastful about ourselves, we can lead other people down these same paths. We can cause them to start resenting us. Suddenly, people start looking around at what they have and start becoming less satisfied. The phone that was perfectly fine 10 minutes ago now is not as good. The clothes picked out this morning no longer are as appealing nor stylish. Even who we are as a person can come into question.

Jealousy and boasting both lead to people wanting something they don't have. If our focus turns to what we don't have, then we stop appreciating the things we do have. God cares for all of us. God loves us completely. He provides our needs. When we are jealous, we are not allowing God to be enough for us. We have decided that the creator and sustainer of the universe just doesn't make us happy enough. Instead, we can only be happy if we have an i-phone. And of course, since our friend has an i-phone that makes them a terrible person because they have what we want.

This just isn't true. God IS enough. People are different. What we have is different. They way we interact with each other is...yup, different. The thing that is the same though for all of us, no matter how much money we have, how nice we dress, what kind of car we drive, whether we are single or not, is that God loves us. This is not just any love. It is not a partial or conditional love. God loves us completely.

In fact, God CAN NOT love you more. He loves you as much as is possible. There is nothing you can do to make God love you more. There is nothing you can do to make God love you less.

You are the apple of God's eye. You hold the keys to God's heart.

The next time you find yourself wanting what someone else has. The next time you start bragging about what you have accomplished or what purchase you just recently made. Remember this, God doesn't care about that. He doesn't care what you don't have. To Him, you have it all, are worth all.

One of the teenagers who goes to our church has a shirt that sums this up perfectly. It says, "I may not be perfect, but Jesus thinks I'm to die for."

It's true, Jesus thinks you are to die for.

Love is kind.....

It is always interesting to me to look up some of the original words of the Bible.....meaning the original language.....and then discover what, exactly, that word means. So, I looked the word kind up. It was originally the Greek word chresteuomai (khraste-yoo'-om-ahee). My fancy computer Study Bible defines this word as meaning to show oneself useful or to act benevolently. Now, I don't know about you, but I've heard the word benevolent, but I didn't really know what it meant. So, I used the wonderful tool available these days called the internet and looked up "benevolently" on an online dictionary. Its meaning? A desire to help others without expecting or receiving any profit from the act.

I have a friend who did something that I think shows kindness at its best. Not too far from my house, right by the highway, you can often find people holding up signs asking for financial help. I talked to one guy who said he had recently lost his job and had a wife, two children, and one grandchild at home. He was having a hard time finding a job and was desperate to find ways to support his family. Well, my friend, one day, after work, drove to a gas station near the highway, bought a soda and a sandwich and took it to one of the guys that happened to be sitting out in the middle of the road. He said it was something he had always wanted to do, and decided to just go do it. Well, he sat and listened to the man's story of life and where he was headed too. After talking for over an hour, my friend wished the man luck. The man thanked him for listening to his story and giving him something to eat. Now to me, that's the perfect example of kindness. There was no way this man could repay my friend for what he did, but that wasn't the reason my friend went out there. It was simply to do something for someone because that's what love is--kindness that reaches out no matter what the return might be. The kindness that describes love here is not something that has been earned. It is not based on previous encounters of kindness. It is not changed because of the past experiences--whether they be good or negative. Love in action is kindness whether or not the recipient deserves it. Another perfect example of kindness is God's love played out as Christ died on the cross for our sins. The Bible says that Christ died for us while we sinners. To be a sinner means to be doing the opposite of what God has called us to do. So, while we were biting our thumb at God and not listening to Him, He continued on to provide a way for us to be able to spend all eternity with Him. That opportunity is available to all of us as a gift. All we must do is accept that gift! Amazing!

Putting It Into Practice: This week, do something kind for someone just because. Don't expect a thank you or anything in return. Remember, love is kindness lived out without the expectation of any gain in return. Love in kindness just as Christ loved us!